Revolting park douchebag

Here's what happened to my cousin and I yesterday afternoon.

We were on our way to our local Coles to pick up some supplies for dinner, and on the way, we walked through the park across the road since it's quicker. A guy comes walking past, looked around late 20s/early 30s, I guess. Didn't get a great look at him since my cousin and I were talking.

As he's passing by us, a few metres away, Mr. Asshole calls out, "Any of you ladies want a root?" followed by "Or maybe we could have a threesome!"

NO, COCKSPANK, NEITHER OF US WANT A ROOT, ESPECIALLY NOT FROM YOU.

I was initially shocked, and wanted to yell at him, but I stopped myself since I was afraid he'd get violent. Wish I'd said something more instead of just glaring at him.

-Anonymous

Bus and train follower

Dear guy on the bus and then on the train,

It's one thing when you creep onto me. It's another when you do it to my young, female students and they feel so unsafe that they seek me out for protection and reassurance. No one should feel unsafe travelling home from school and if you hadn't stopped following them when you saw me, there would have been an introduction of my knee to your tender bits.

No Love,
Purrdence

Melbourne tram scum

Sometimes things happen that you can't just shrug off. Sometimes your state of mind is such that an event can affect you on a deeply personal level. It can affect you so much that you are prepared to make massive sacrifices to prevent said event happening again.

I recently paid off my personal loan after eleventy billion years. This means I have a lot more disposable income to throw around. I was planning on throwing it into taking flying lessons. But no longer. Now I'm going to get a car. Sure, I live in the inner city and have loads of public transport available to me. But therein lies the problem. Public transport. Or more specifically, the scum that travel on it.

Twice in six months I have been on the receiving end of some depraved man's sexual desire.

The first happened on a pack tram on my way home back in January, my partner was at boot camp at the time. Now, trams break in such a way that means you lean into the person next you a fair bit, so I didn't think anything of a guy leaning on me as we slowed to go round a corner. I started to get concerned when he didn't straighten himself up after the turn. Then I felt his erection on my thigh. I was too much of a chicken to say anything and I got off the tram and walked home in a rage, wanting to talk to my partner but not wanting to stress him out while he was at boot and could do nothing. Some friends took me out for midnight pancakes with bacon and things were a bit better, but something had really shaken me.

And then this morning happened. Standing on the tram, noticed the guy standing next to me was either staring right at me, or at my hair - knee length bright red dreadlocks get a bit of attention. But then I realised his left hand was deep in his pants' pocket, and moving quite a bit. He continued to stare at me and I became more certain it wasn't my hair he was looking at. I tried to look straight ahead and kept thinking "maybe he has an itch, maybe he's not doing what I think he is doing". Just then, the school girl sitting in front of me looked up and made eye contact with him. The hand movements got faster as the guy's attention turned on the girl. She couldn't have been more than 13. He started moaning and eventually groaned out "Hallelujah" when the woman opposite the schoolgirl told the man to get off the tram. He got violent and threatened to "smash" everyone before barging his way off.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive. But I can't shake this. I can't help but feel violated, like some sort of trust has been ripped away from me. And I guess that's what has happened. As you board a bus or tram, you trust the other passengers are like you and will respect your personal space. You trust they won't rub their giblets on your body. You trust they won't fucking masturbate over you and a 13 year old schoolgirl. It wasn't even a Friday night - you could expect a drunk might do something like that under the influence of alcohol in an almost empty tram. But this was a peak hour morning tram. I was going to work. She was going to school. We were surrounded by people. I had to fucking PAY MONEY THAT I WORKED TO EARN to catch that tram. I spent the morning looking at everyone with suspicion and distrust. And I will continue to feel this way.

The frustrating part of this is that no one but that man is to blame. I can't say "oh if Yarra Trams offered a safer service this wouldn't have happened" but there is nothing they could have done. There is nothing anyone can do. But I can do something. I can buy a fucking a car and add to the climate change problem, because frankly, to hell with human beings.

Melbourne tram officer harassment

i just googled sexual harrassment on melbourne trams and this webbie came up as first.

Half an hour ago i was waiting for a tram in front of flinders, when a tram officer, the one with the yellow jacket started to talk to me. it all started innocently enough, with him asking how old i was, which school i went to and did i gain any weight since i came to melbourne and stuff.

then he started staring at me up and down. saying this like, i cant tell where u gained weight, come back when you're 25, which is close to my age. ur very attractive etc.

When i got up he started to kind of bump into my shoulder

i couldnt take it and walked back.

i dont know why i'm bloody writing this & telling the world now but i was crying when i walk back

& this shouldnt happen to anyone

thats my story

Indecent assault on Sydney train

Western Line train heading to the city, 1:30pm

I was heading to Chinatown to grab a late lunch with a friend of mine, when I had the displeasure of encountering a man-sized cockroach on my train.

I had been happily absorbed in my thoughts for the duration of the one hour journey. I had not noticed the cockroach in a black baseball cap get onto my train, or carefully select a seat directly across the aisle from me. I was blissfully ignorant, and it was to be a happy day. Or not.

As my train approached Central, I gathered my things and stood up to exit my seat. The cockroach promptly stood up and made to leave his seat also. We both intended to step into the aisle, but there was no room for both of us to enter the aisle simultaneously. We made eye contact and he paused. I understood (wrongly) that he was waiting for me to enter the aisle first. As I stepped into the aisle, I felt his hand on my ass. Slightly shocked, I swiftly walked the length of the aisle, quickly down the stairs to the carriage doors.

I thought, "Did that guy just touch my ass?". Then the little voice of doubt kicked in - "Maybe it was just an accident. He was just a little too close behind you". Unfortunately, my doubts were unfounded.

As I waited for the carriage doors to open, I realised the cockroach had crept directly behind me. Too close behind me. As soon as the doors opened, I leapt out onto the platform and almost jogged down the steps to the ticket barriers. I thought to myself, "Yes, I've lost him, it was just an accident". And then I heard a voice, a soft, creepy, desperate voice, in my right ear. The cockroach was right next to me! "Can I come with you?" asked the roach, trying, I think, to make itself sound seductive. Eww!

The cockroach scuttled rapidly past me without waiting for a reply, and at the bottom of the stairs, turned right and crept out of sight. "Thank God", I thought, as I turned turned left and walked quickly through the ticket barriers. I naively believed it was gone. But I was wrong.

I walked down Eddy Avenue, heading to Chinatown. At the intersection with Pitt Street, I had to wait for the lights before crossing. As I stood there, under my umbrella in the dripping rain, I thought of the thousand and one ways I could have reacted. Slapped him as soon as he dared touch my body. Embarrassed him by loudly asking "Would you stop following me and touching me?" I was so angry that his actions caused me to fear, I who have been regularly catching trains since the age of 11, I who have a right to walk the streets without cockroaches and all manner of man-sized vermin leering at me, groping me, threatening me with violence, punishing me for being female.

I was jolted out of my stream of consciousness when, suddenly, a man in a black baseball cap reappeared in front of me at the intersection. The cockroach! I was sickened, too disgusted to speak. Was he going to follow me all the way to Chinatown? How was I going to get rid of him? He openly leered at another woman before turning towards me. I'd had enough. As he crept up to me, I made an aggressive movement with my open umbrella, hoping to poke his eye with one of the spokes of my umbrella. He ducked unsuccessfully, and then, realising that I wasn't afraid to use brute force to defend myself, took off. I didn't see him again.

Anonymous

The Last Train out of Sydney

Not so much a post as a quick complaint - catching the train last night to visit family I get to the top of the stairs, dragging an enormous suitcase, child in tow and get asked by a guy what station we're at.

I'm a bit startled, thinking he's missing his stop, but I answer and find a seat. I notice his friend when I sit down as we are separated by a few seats, and the aisle, but are facing each other and he's looked at me. I immediately put my head down and I think about the reaction I've had to them. I have immediately gleaned that they are both drunk, possibly stoned (massively red eyes), tres blokey, absolutely enormous, "good looking" I suppose in that footballer type of way.

I don't wanna make eye contact given my vast experience with drunken men on trains. Anyway, I dig out my book and I hear the first guy (not the one facing me) say "Stop staaarin maaaan", but don't really register or think anything of it. I look up at some point, and we make eye contact and I give the look - I'm sure women out there know the look, it's well rehearsed - the 'smile' that is acknowledgement of eye contact, enough not to be rude, so as not to be challenging and provoke abuse, and not enough to encourage conversation.

I start thinking about my wariness and where it comes from (a good 20 years of awareness of danger, of random "drive-by" harassment in its various forms, but I wanna analyse whether my reaction is "fair" or not). So I start thinking, Well, he's totally enormous, like for real this guy could knock my teeth out without cracking a sweat. Then I think, well, that isn't his *fault*, he can't help being enormous. But you know, having been followed, having been hit, having read the rape stats and having had numerous unpleasant, though less physically violent interactions, I can't "help" my radar going off, and I can't "help" thinking of his size in this way.

I can hear the guys talking, and it's all football and grog talk, but I decide I don't mind the guy facing me, he shows some awareness of his surroundings etc and makes a few quips as to the other guys idiocy. Anyway, I'm deep in my book and I hear the first guy say "Stop starin man, you're embarrassing yourself" and my eyes flick up and I make fleeting eye contact with the second guy who's looking embarrassed and telling his friend to shut up.

I go back to my book, still not thinking much of it, when I hear the first guy (slurring and loud) say "Whaddya starin at HER for? She's a [missed this word]. SHE don't wanna suck no cock."

Now, let me say I don't know who the "she" he was talking about was. It was, by all indications, either me, or the girl sitting one seat ahead of me. I went back to my book as I was most certainly not wishing to make eye contact now. The second guy was really pissed with his friend and telling him to shut up as he was embarrassing him. It kept going for a while.

I don't know who it was they were referring to, but it hardly matters does it? I mean "she don't wanna suck no cock"??? WHERE do I start? Well, you know, I certainly don't wanna "suck" yours you moronic arrogant jerk, in fact I wish it was detachable by velcro so I could toss the damned thing out the window. But "what" was it that either I or the other girl "was" that meant definitively that we didn't wanna "suck no cock"? A lesbian? A mother? A brunette? An adult?

And WOW - imagine, if you can, what joys might lay in store for the "type" of girl, judged as wanting to "suck cock". What stimulating and witty conversation she would have been treated to. What slow, drawn out, delightfully playful seduction. What romance and laughter.

It's really bizarre to me, that it is this kind of blanket judgment as well, like you either like to "suck cock" and therefore will do it anytime, anywhere, on command, indiscriminately or you just don't. I kinda wanted to point out that even for those who do actually enjoy fellatio, it isn't like liking chocolates, that you don't see one whilst strolling around and go Oooh, might just pop that in my mouth because it *is* a "cock".

I know this is a story that doesn't really "go" anywhere - but I think there is value in the telling of these anecdotes...I think when we don't 'tell' our stories of this casual insulting sexism, it is easy to forget how frequent it is, and how frustrating and demoralising...it also gives a space in which it is safe to 'talk back'. It is so frustrating to have to meekly accept the humiliation if you feel that to object could lead to violence or aggression.

Train Wanker

Boy, do I have a story for the people at Hollaback and for the people who read the blog!

I was on the train, going home from work. On the trains where I live, in the carriages, there's a middle deck where people aboard and get off the trains, and then a bottom and top deck in the middle of the carriages for more seats. On the top and bottom decks, there's something of a small aisle, which allows people to make their way on either the right or left side of the train for seating. So I got onto the train and made my way to the top deck, and sat on the left side. A stop or two later, I noticed the man who was about sexually harass me went to grab a newspaper that was a few seats in front of me, though on the right side of the seats, and I also noticed that he was taking a longer than usual glance towards me. He then walked to his seat, which was a row behind me and on the right side. Turns out he wanted a good view at me, and was masturbating over me. I only found out when he was stupid enough to sit on the same row on me to get a better look at me (still sitting on the right side, thankfully) where I saw from the corner of my eye, him taking quick glances at me. I wondered what his problem was so I looked over towards him and that's when I noticed his hand down his pants.

I instantly froze, as this was the first time this has ever happened to me. I had been sexually harassed before with someone yelling inappropriate things at me, but this was completely new for me. After I froze, my first reaction was to yell, "Augh!" but I stayed calm, and promptly walked off and sat down at the middle decks. I then realised that I might have to see him again if he ever got off the trains, so then I made my way to the lower decks.

When it my turn to get off the train, I made my way to the middle decks, where there was fortunately someone there whom I could stand with just in case that guy was still on the train. I asked the man who I was standing with if there was a man up in the upper deck and then he said, "No. Is he scaring you?" I told him what happened, and he was equally disgusted as well, and said that I should report it. I asked where I could do so, and he directed me to one of the staff at the train station, where I reported the guy that sexually harassed me. Some minutes later, the train-police came and asked me to describe him, what time it was and between what stations that this had taken. The officer who was asking me questions said that I had supplied a pretty good description which I was relieved about. Unfortunately, the time I supplied may have been wrong as I was taking guesses because I wasn't really paying attention to the time. I really hope they get the guy and charge him.

I also unfortunately didn't get a picture because like I said before, I was just so freaked out and my mind blanked.



Wendy